deliberate focus

life. is. crazy.

always so much to do
so much that i have to do
that i can’t always get to what i want to do

hence the scarcity of pictures and stories here

all that craziness leads to grumpiness
and grumpy momma breeds grumpiness in all

it is a cycle that needs to be broken

over the past month
in all the hurriedness

going here and there

doing this and that

i found myself thinking toward the future

when life will be more simple

and less cluttered

more under control

but that is not how i want to live my life

i want to find the joy and wonder
where i am
in this moment

because you can never get moments back once they’re gone

so one of my new year’s resolutions
is to find the good

the joy

the positive

the moments that work

and focus on them

i want to banish grumpiness from my kingdom

last night i had my first opportunity
so i want to record it here to look back on when i need to

it was the last night of vacation
i had to work at ten
everyone else had to get up regular time the next morning
so at 7:45 i told everyone to get going upstairs

hristopher had some homework to finish
so i made sure he was doing what he needed to
then realized that there were no other kids downstairs

i went up

dreading what i would find

fully expecting timmy to be in the little guys room

and to walk in to find them
throwing stuffed animals across the room
as they jumped on the bed

as i go to the top of the stairs
what i heard was not chaos
but a little voice saying

point to a picture…
that’s a boat!

i peek in the door
and see zachary and benjamin
snuggled in their bed

looking a book

quietly.
together.
quietly.
calmly.

and timmy
in the other room
snuggled in his bed
reading his book

i gave them all kisses
changed benjamin
tucked them in their blankets
told them goodnite
and turned out the lights

and they all
went.
to.
sleep.

not another peep

a.m.a.z.i.n.g.