am i ready??

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christopher had his first school concert
he sang in the 4th grade choir
the concert also included
the 5th grade choir
the 5th grade orchestra
and the 5th grade band

this was just another reminder for me
that he is getting older

and while that can be exciting
it is also incredibly frightening
as i look at all the world is today
and how much of it

i don’t want
to be a part of

as friends become more important
and mom & dad less influential
i fear i won’t be able to keep him
from those things forever

adolescence
and all that stage of life brings
love
heartache
friends
lonliness
pressure
drugs
sex
cars
choices

control
my loss
his gain

but we’re not there…yet
i know it will come all too soon

but for now i vow to enjoy
that he is still my
not-so-little little boy

enjoy that he’s still excited to see me
when i pick him up at school
and he doesn’t mind giving me a hug
even if his friends are around

enjoy that he still wants me involved
wants me to come in to school
for special classroom celebrations

enjoy that he still comes to me
when he is sad, or hurt, or angry
for advice
for an ear to listen
for arms that comfort

i will enjoy it while it lasts

and endure when it’s absent

knowing that
it will be a stage to get through

and one day
(hopefully)
he will return

3 responses »

  1. yeah – that’s me right behind his head – you can see my hair but not my face – right?? that was a completely different tangent – i can remember (at least in theory) being IN concerts like these – it can’t be THAT long ago, right?

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