my biggest boy…

                         

one of christopher’s coaches sent us some pictures that he had taken during the season

i look at these pictures and i am amazed at how old he seems to me

maybe it’s the uniform
maybe it’s the serious look on his face
he just seems more grown up than i think he should be

he’s 9

i try to remember 9 and i don’t think i really do

but i wonder what 9 was like…
what did i think about
what was important to me
what worried me
what brought me joy & happiness
what brought me pain & sorrow

because i watch this boy have all those experiences
all those feelings
and they seem sooo intense
and so important

and i am afraid he will never forget
he hangs on to so much

maybe that is why he looks so old to me

i want so much for him to be happy

happy in life
happy in himself
happy in what’s around him

 

and then i see this shot
 

and i know that he is still a kid
and he will remember some things

but
(thankfully)
he will also forget a lot

 

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